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On Marriage
Marriage-Transforming Words
If you knocked on every door in your neighborhood and asked how long it has been since you were complimented by your spouse or that you complimented your mate, what do you think you would find? Most of us know the answer would be "It's been a long, long time" or " I don't remember!" It seems that for some couples, the emotion of kindness seems to fade with the words, "I do." Kind words costs nothing, makes life more bearable and can actually set a heart to singing. It's easy for us to forget the power we have to change someone's world for the better. Author Charlie Shedd, in his book Letters to Karen, makes a statement I love. He says, " You can keep him(or her) loving you forever if you learn a thousand different ways to tell him(or her) "You're wonderful!" He also says, " Well-chosen words, sincerely spoken at strategic times, is one of the least expensive ingredients in the great marriages I have known."
Mr. Shedd goes on to tell of a mens' seminar he was leading, He asked the men to write down a few words on the subject, "What My Wife's Compliments Mean to Me." Then he listed a few excerpts:
"Compliments? You bet! I bring home the bacon and she furnishes the applesauce.'"
" I think complimenting each other is one of the most important things in marriage. When she praises me, I feel as if she is pouring a larger mold. I have to grow bigger to fill it."
But then there were the men that knew nothing of compliments. Read on:
"There is one man in our club whose wife is always praising her husband. I wish I had a woman like that. My wife doesn't know any compliments. She's on a constant safari looking for my faults."
"My wife never compliments me. I feel sometimes like saying, 'Oh, for gosh sakes, quit your harping and go get a horn!' "
So where are you at this point of your marriage? As Author Shedd says, "You can only tell him he isn't wonderful where he isn't, if you have told him he is wonderful where he is." Now that's a good goal to work toward!
If you have been in a marriage for a few years now, you have something that many people say is a fading lifestyle, that marriage is less and less important. Do you really want to prove them right? There must have been a time when the two of you thought you could not exist without the other. You say, "But he has changed so much!" But remember, In life the only things that don't change are dead.That means you have changed too! Life means change, for better or worse. Somewhere along the line, we have to take responsibility for the changes that take place and actually realize life truly is a choice. We don't have control over all the changes, but we do have control over our attitudes and how we deal with relationships!
You have a choice right now, to think about what you have just read or to laugh and forget it. But remember this: "If ever one sentence weighed a ton, it is this: I think you're wonderful!"
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"Some men I know would give their bottom dollar if they could have
the 'shelter of a rock from a weary land' in their own home."
C.W. Shedd, author
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