Do you every wonder what your child will be when he grows up? The child within  your influence has the power to become absolutely anything his heart desires. If you  have a strong willed child on your hands, that personality that makes you want to  scream at times, may be the very characteristic that will give him the determination  to fight against all odds. As parents, it's up to us to guide and mold, not break the will of our children. It's important that this young tender "will" be focused in positive directions rather than negative ones. It could be that this little person within  the sound of your voice has a noble calling such as finding a cure for cancer or  

Discipline is of major importance with a head strong child. When they want to do things their way, we marvel that this child is so different than our compliant one. This is definitely a testing ground for the parent.

During this time,   it is important to provide consistent firm and loving discipline. No matter how the child balks,  this firm parenting means security for the child. They  feel safe knowing there are boundaries on what he can and cannot do. How easy it is to burst out in times  of frustration with young children, especially the  strong willed one. I dare to admit I've done this. That's why I believe it is important for  me to pass on what I've learned.

With grown sons, I look back and realize how earth shattering I made little things. Every situation was major to me. Now I know it's wise to choose your battles. Stand your ground on things that truly matter, those  core values you  want to instill as a parent. For example, catching a child in a lie is a prime time to stop to explain how important it is to tell the truth,how people are known by the words they  speak. This can be taken further with punishment for failing to live by the family standards. Make instructions clear as to what  family standards are, but make sure the consequences of misbehavior are just as clear. And always, always follow through with what you say. Remember, you are teaching your  child, "If Mom says  something, you can bank on it!" This is a part of truth telling.

On the other hand, if your child ignores something you have told him, rather than  fierce punishment, give the child options.  This is an excellent time for a child to learn  choices have consequences. He will see that he is able to make good and bad ones.  This  is a wonderful time in life for them to learn this prior to becoming a teenager.

Your child is just that, a child. But don't forget they are human beings too. They have a  need to be loved, appreciated and respected. You don't see much in print about a  child deserving respect, but this is a very important aspect of parenting. Do you correct  your child in front of others in a degrading way? All discipline should be done in love.  There are times parents step over the line when tired or agitated. When this happens,  it is important to say, "I'm sorry for my anger." A child learns a lot from hearing a  parent admit a wrong. This goes for adult children as well.

It is important to remember this strong willed child you are nurturing is tender underneath  the tough exterior. They not only need discipline and respect as a human being, they  need encouragement. It is easy to notice all the wrong things they do. Try  deliberately looking for things they do right. And then, compliment them heartily.  Let them know now proud you are to be their Mom. Statements such as this increase  their feelings of self worth and give them a good starting point for life. I had a saying  I used with my three sons. My oldest was my favorite oldest son; my middle son was  my favorite middle son and my youngest was my favorite youngest son. We often  laughed about it, but in their hearts they knew Mom meant it.

Parenting is laborious job that you have to stay on top of relentlessly. It is rewarding  beyond measure.  It is also very sobering. If you have questions about parenting or feel that  you have issues that need attention, please seek help.  There are books, counsellors, and  other avenues of help for concerned parents. The lives of our young ones are at stake.

Side note: I've found some Christmas ornaments to give my sons this year that carry on our teasing. (See www.lakeside.com) They say, "First Born (Mom's favorite)"; "Middle child (Mom's favorite)" and "Youngest child (Mom's favorite)". I will give the "First Born" ornament to my grandson as this will
 be our first Christmas without my oldest son. (See My Little Boy, The Man under THE SANCTUARY.)  How blessed we were to have these three young men in our home.

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