Regardless of when it started, at some point in my life, I took the path of Self. Why does a person stay on this path of destruction? Why not change directions? When a person is absorbed with self, they are not looking for another path. Self is the captain of their life. They wouldn’t have it any other way. This path of self took me through grammar school and on through high school, all the while developing me into a young woman with low self-esteem and tremendous feelings of inferiority. These are two poor ingredients to take into marriage, but that is what I did.

Many years and three sons later, I continued on my unhappy path.  I taught Sunday School and presented myself as a person who had it all together. Only those closest to me knew I was unhappy.  It took very little to upset me.  I had been a Christian since I was 9 years old.  That established where I would go when I died.  But I never made Christ Lord of life here on earth.  I cried a lot, asked forgiveness from my husband a lot, and then read my Bible a lot.  How miserable I was! Somehow, through all my torment and confusion, God heard my cry for help.  I came to the end of "me."

Dr. M. R. Dehaan, in his book, Broken Things, speaks of all the broken things we have to deal with in life. As infants, we have broken toys, as teens broken hearts, then as adults, broken homes or broken dreams. He says, “We cast the broken things aside and call them junk, but our God casts the unbroken things aside as useless.” Until we’re willing to be broken, until we give up self, we continue to search for the abundant life promised us as God’s children.

Christ-centered wives and moms make a difference in the home. Our home changed for the better. I was given 5 wonderful years with my husband before he died of a sudden heart attack. We had learned to laugh and love together. I will always be thankful God didn’t take him during my rebellious years.

I have never regretted changing paths in my life. Once you’ve tasted joy and peace, self looses its flavor. It is not an easy path, it takes daily yielding. But the fruit is delicious along the way.

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must             deny himself, and take up his cross and                follow me."                     Matthew 16:24

                                  
                                                            

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