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On Parenting
Ten Years From Now
When we think about our family, we would probably all agree that there is no better gift to us than our children. They bring us the most pleasure and sometimes the greatest pain. But we ask ourself, what would life be without them. Parents try to make sure their children have all the opportunities and "things" that will make a difference in their life. If we are not careful, we give too much or work to hard without teaching the valueable lesson that anything worth having is worth working for. Unfortunately sometimes the things we give our children are to make up for the time we did not spend with them or to try to say "I love you" when we don't feel comfortable saying what we feel. There is such a fine line here and unless a parent has discernment as to how to handle a situation, oppurtunities for growth in a child are missed. Our children are observing a culture that rewards greed and self centeredness and tells them life is about getting rather than giving. It is up to us as parents to show them a better way.
Lifestyles of the some of the rich and famous make it obvious that wealth and getting rather than giving does not make happy people. Even those who are very generous with their money don't benefit if their gift to others is for publicity or numerous other reasons. It's a matter of the heart. And the heart is taught in a home environment at a young age.
It is a good thing to remind our children of their blessings rather than have them beg for what they don't have. This may have to be developed in the parent first. We, too, can become dissatisfied as we watch advertisments for "more" or window shop for things we wished we had. This time could be well spent teaching our children of the needs of others. Consider some of the suggestions below.
~Do you know an elderly person? If not, seek someone out. There are more and more elderly people about us that are limited in their physical abilities. Shopping for daily food is hard for them. Preparing meals is hard for them. Reading may be hard for them. The smallest deed is appreciated because they realize you didn't have to do it. Teach this to your children, role model for them!
~Do you know that people still like to get "Thank You" notes. I just bet there is a teacher, a minister, a babysitter, a neighbor , a store clerk that would love to hear they made your day by their kindness. Teach this to your children, role model for them!
~I love the phrase, "Out of the blue!" Do something for someone spontaneously! Surprise is a wonderful element of life! Teach this to your children, role model for them!
~ Dump the stressed out feeling and do a nice thing for a family member. Follow it with, "It's just because I love you!" Teach this to your children, role model for them!
~Be free with compliments to family members and those outside the home. Your compliment could be the nicest thing that is said to a person in a day! Teach this to your children, role model for them!
All the suggestions listed above take our eyes off self. We focus on others, instead of "woe is me!" Over a period of time, our disposition will change, our heart will change. Our children will say "Thank you for teaching me to think of others." Ten years from now you may be the one responsible for influencing the standard of selfless living in your children's home, which of course will affect your grandchildren and on go the ripple effects! Because of the time you took during their tender years they will see for themselves, "It's not about me!"
"There is a crucial difference between being nice and being kind:
One increases stress, the other reduces it.”
Margot Silk Forrest, from A Short Course in Kindness
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