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On Parenting
Sharpening Our Parenting Skills
 Our goal as parents is to raise another adult and what is a major function of being an adult? Making choices. If the child is trained, at an early age, in the consequences of good and bad choices, this is a mile stone toward being a productive, responsible human being.
The February, 2008 issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine had a very good article on improving your skills as a parent. It covered screaming at your child, restricting privileges and timeouts. Below are my thoughts on the subjects.
~ Screaming is condemned as a tactic for getting your child's attention because regardless of volume, they hear every word you say. There should be respect for authority without reverting to this tactic. Is this a problem area in your life? If so, toss it out and look at better ways to connect. If a child is out of control, it is not a time for the parent to be out of control as well. It takes lots of control to tame a temper when all is falling apart. That's the parent role.
~If your form of discipline calls for restrictions of privileges, such as the computer or the automobile, follow through with what you say. Don't dole out consequences unless you are willing to back it up. If you don't do what you say, this is nothing more than broken promises, a very bad habit for a "developing adult" to witness.
~Time outs for child can create a cooling down period where there is less chance of angry words. Respect from parent to child and child to parent is very important. Even in the midst of turmoil, we should never loose sight of the fact that homes are "growing sights" for the future generation. Whether we realize it or not, we are modeling life to our children. You don't have to be a business executive to be in a leadership role. You are a leader if you have a family! Consider the quote below.
You're teaching a lesson each day that you live;
Your actions are blazing a trail
That children will follow for good or for ill;
You can help them or cause them to fail.
~Bosch~
I don't know your specific parenting role. You may have carefully planned your family and lovingly looked forward to children. You may have been totally surprised by the knowledge a baby was on the way. You may be a single parent, wishing you could go back in time. You may have a loving home, or you may have chaos in your environment all the time. Nevertheless, the child is at stake now. You, as an adult can make choices to grow, seek peace and improve your situation. However, the child has no choices, but to observe and listen in the very environment he/she has been placed in by you. Seek help, read good parenting books. Look for mentors to help with questions you may have. Think and think again about this awesome responsibility you have. Your child's future depends on it.
Personal words from my own parenting years: It's a shame that we don't come equipped with all the knowledge we need to grow our children. But it is true that if we raise them to the best of our ability, teaching them the good in life, they will return to the roots of their home life most of the time.
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It's not only children who grow. Parents do too.
As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives,
they are watching us to see what we do with ours.
I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.
All I can do is reach for it myself.
~Joyce Maynard~
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