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Up Close and Personal
Relationships
My husband and I attended our last baseball game for this season a few days ago. It’s fun to sit for two plus hours without interruption. I enjoy the crowd and the atmosphere, while it’s down to business with Richard. His eyes are on the batter, the pitcher and the umpire.
From a woman’s point of view, a ball game is always a good place to observe people. That’s what I did during this last game. A couple of rows ahead of us, two young teenage girls were busy text messaging friends not at the game. They were oblivious to the all American sport being conducted on the field. Others on both sides of us were engaged in phone conversations. Behind us a young couple laughed, talked and shared stories endlessly. This was an evening they would remember, I am sure, but not because of the ballgame. We all were making memories. Relationships were being built.
Relationships. That’s what life is about. It is the foundation of every other part of our life. I believe you will agree that if our relationships are flourishing, other areas of life are easier.
We humans are made for interaction. We have to relate to people every single day. Relationships with spouse, family, friends, co-workers and social contacts define who we are. Did you know, as we are relating with other people each day, we are changing?
Dr. John Powell, a favorite author of mine, says, “If I am anything as a person, it is what I think, judge, feel, value, honor, esteem, love, hate, fear, desire, hope for, believe in and am committed to. These are the things that define my person, and they are constantly in the process of change. Unless my mind and heart are hopelessly barricaded, all these things that define me as a person are forever changing.”
Considering Dr. Powell’s words, is it any wonder that relationships present problems at times? We expect a person to be the same as when we last encountered them. They expect the same of us. Yet, nothing, including humans, stays the same. This may explain why marriages don’t last, why friendships change and relationships become troublesome? Unfortunately some spouses, relatives, friends or co-workers are unwilling to accept the person we are becoming through our daily life experience. In turn, we may find it hard to accept the change taking place in another.
With change taking place in our own life, it’s tempting to hide who we really are. It’s easier to “mask” our true self and play games rather than take a chance that the other person won’t like who we are becoming. Therein lies problems. Whether it is a spouse, a friend, a sibling or our neighbor, honesty challenges us to be our real self. Experts in the field of relationships say communication, trust, support, honesty and respect are traits that are extremely important for a relationship to survive.
It’s a fact that you can’t buy happiness and lasting relationships are not for sale. Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at HarvardUniversity, says, “Once you have enough money to meet basic needs – food, shelter, but not necessarily cable —incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.”
We make good and bad choices everyday about relationships. Someone has said, “Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.”
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