Woman are really good at word wars.   Have you noticed that about yourself? We know how to do that part of life with no lessons, with no continuing education seminars. We are really good at it because we do it often enough that we don't need any  pointers from the sisterhood! We do it our way! But have you noticed  when we use words to lash out at those closest to us, we don't win? Whether it's with the kids or the hubby, the boss or the neighbor, it's just doesn't work out the way we want it to.   So why do we  use this life tactic?

Have you ever thought about stepping outside of yourself  a little to see how the family sees you?   Would you want to live with you?

 One of the first questions to ask yourself is:  Who is my problem?  Is it really my spouse, my children, my boss? Or is my problem me? This takes some sincere soul searching. Your choice here can become one of the most important lessons you can teach your children in actively managing  their own moods and the words they say.

Do you know that Science now agrees with biblical statements that say in lay terms, What we say is what we get!  If you tell your husband he is lazy, it's a cinch, he will oblige you! If you tell him he's sloppy, you got it, girl! Words carry a lot of weight!  Criticism won't change your life for the better. People have a way of becoming who they are told they are.  Don't believe me?  Do the research!

Words cut and sometimes break beautiful ties that hold people together. Deliberately changing your mind to put others first,  by an act of your will, can help you see the good in your man, your children, etc.   Old habits die hard,  It will take time.  But DO NOT use anyone else as an excuse to continue your wordy appraisal of just how bad others are!  Biblical fact:  "As a man thinks, so is he!"

I challenge you to take  a more active role in your mood and the cutting words you say to those you 'love'.  Get a personal notebook.   Each evening before you go to sleep write down one thing  you are going to do the following day to change the atmosphere in your home by YOUR words (praise, encouragement, thank-yous)  Make it attainable. Next week . . . write down two things that you are going to do.  And then three.  And then more.  Each week add an additional thing that you are going to do to change your mindset and the way you relate to family members.  After a month  it will start to become an  engrained  part of your new pattern of managing your life. All the while, it is good to  remember that more than likely other family members have problems they are trying to solve as well.  You have not been singled out to get the short end of the stick! This is probably the right place to say, many times if we get our eyes off our self and seek to be a problem solver for another,   we are the winner!

A family unit is a group of people with common interest, each with individual needs.  Words are so important in the  management of this unit.  Choose words wisely and vow to be there for those we say we love, through sunshine or rain.  And be thankful!

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
unkown

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"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."
Anthony Brandt