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No One Lives To Himself
There is a story told of a clock in a jeweler's window that stopped one morning at twenty minutes until eight o'clock. It remained silent for half an hour. As school children noticed the clock, they slowed their pace to school and began to play. People on the way to work began to walk a little slower. They began to pause and chat with each other. All were late because one small clock stopped. No one had ever realized how much they depended on the clock until it led them astray.
Like this story, it's true, Dad, you have people depending on you! Not even the people depending on you realize how big a role you play in their life. Tonight my husband and I watched a TV program that took a look back at icons from the past. Out of four women stars mentioned, two had troubled childhoods(Doris Day and Marilyn Monroe) and it was stated by the reporter, both had longings for a father who was not there. My husband turned to me and said, "You know, men don't know how big a role they have in the family." This is true.
As I have written on my website before, mothers are so important as they teach manners, kindness, tolerance, traditions, health, cleanliness, sharing and so much more. But fathers teach by being there. Dads teach acceptance. Dads say, "I love you just the way you are"; "Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" or "You throw a mean ball!" This is acceptance. The dad is the strength and security of the family. If a child feels secure, they can go boldly into the world and disagree with those that say they don't count. They have heard and have been shown at home this is not true.
Don't ever think that your role or your time at home or your attitude toward your family doesn't make that much difference. Unfortunately you won't know the whole truth until your children grow up. If you have done a good job, they will tell you how much you affected their life. If you fail, they won't talk about it, because they won't feel close enough to discuss such deep feelings with you. It's an important subject, one that requires your attention now, as much as the job you have or the leisure time you enjoy so much.
If you have read much on my site, you won't group me with political feminists. I gladly acknowledge my husband as the head of our home. I am not under him, I walk beside him. His decisions are final, though he wants my view on matters and he appreciates my input. Does that make me inferior? Absolutely not! I love to give the reins to him. That is by choice. I trust him completely. It takes a load off my shoulders. This was also my choice in my previous marriage, prior to my husband's passing. In this type of environment, we raised three strong young men, not problem free, but knowing their role in the home. They could easily say with Clarence Budington Kelland; "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
I am not sure who said the true words, "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad." You can be that special person, if you choose to be. On the same TV program mentioned above, the show Bonanza was mentioned and the question was asked, "Why was it so popular all those years ago?" The reporter simply said, "Because it was about a happy family and deep down inside that's what everyone wants." I agree.
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"He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures ... but he was never in them."
Erma Bombeck
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