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For The Men~Blue Prints
Marrige Secrets
There is a popular myth related to marriage. It is: "If you love each other enough, you'll have a good marriage." If you're married, you know it takes a great deal more than love. If you're entertaining thoughts of marriage, prepare yourself ! Think about your knowledge of problem solving, patience, how to express anger, good communications, and how to put others first. Sound like kindergarten? Evidently we really didn't learn all we needed to know at that young age.
There is a lot of planning and preparation that goes into a wedding, but not much thought put into what the atmosphere will be five years down the road. If you come from a good, stable home, you probably have or had that image for your own marriage. If you were not so fortunate to have a harmonious home life, you may know the work ahead, but you believe it is worth it for your dream girl.
It may seem hard to believe, but studies show that people in our society truly do have a desire to have a satisfying, long-lasting relationship. Both men and women want to feel there is at least one person they can relate to and depend on when the world is falling apart around them.
God instilled into man a desire to be a provider for his wife and family. When a husband does this well, he is surprised when married life is filled with tension, frustration and resentment. Add to this sadness and bewilderment and you have signs of a failing marriage.
Don't settle for just good sex. As good as that is, it turns sour as other areas start to crumble. A search for honesty and kindness is a good place to start. Facades are for actors. Don't settle for someone "playing" at life. They are not the real thing! Look for a person who is willing to take off their mask and show their true self. Though you both may need to make some life adjustments, you can do it! Don't play it safe, play it honest! Expose yourself from the beginning. If she does not like what she sees, it is a cinch, she won't love you when the way gets tough! If you consider all of this, you may find that new relationships may not be easy, but you can bet they will be easier than going through divorce court.
Marriage is a sacred institution, not for the faint of heart. It takes tons of work, discipline of self, forgiveness, honesty and kindness. Is it worth it? Yes, a thousand times. But if you are not willing to say, "I love you more than I love me", there will be problems all the way. The nice thing is that if both individuals arrive at a point in life when they can put their spouse first, each is first in the eyes of the other. If you have this combination, you truly have a unique relationship, one worth cherishing.
"That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons,
responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life."
Paul Tournier
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