Up Close And Personal
Making The Bitter Better

    

Are you a victim? If so, look around, you have lots of company. There are victims of childhood abuse, broken promises, accidents, family feuds, crime, frauds, disease, etc. The next question; how have you decided to deal with it? There is no middle ground. You have forgiven the person or accepted the situaiton or you haven't. The consequences come after the choice has been made.The wrong choice can make you a victim twice. 

Forgiving may be the hardest thing you've ever done. However, if you choose  not to, it may be the most damaging physical thing you can do to yourself.
It can cause everything from mental depression, to health problems and in many studies has been linked to some cancer and arthritis, though it is clearly pointed out that all cancers and arthritis is definitely not "unforgiveness" oriented. 


Dr. Charles Stanley, a well known minister and author, tells of an experience he had: 

"The effects of unforgiveness on my life were nearly as devastating as my friend’s betrayal. Initially, I didn’t notice because I was too wrapped up in hurt. But the weeds of bitterness began to choke out my wonderful life. I grew angry and cynical." 
    
As long as we are unable to forgive a person, that person has control of our lives.
We give them free space in our minds, They are in control of our emotions and this 
person we dislike literally keeps us up at nights. That's a lot of control to give someone
you don't like.

Consider the tips below in letting go of a hurting situation. 

~Understand that forgiving does not mean accepting the wrong done to you. And you may never know why it happened. Whoever brought this thing into action may be dealing with major things in their life that caused their actions or they may just need to grow up. 

~It has been said, life makes us bitter or better. Though it is hard to go through tough times, your situation may, in the end, cause you to grow beyond where you would have been had it not happened. 

~Remember, another's persons treatment toward you does not diminish your worth.  Work at knowing who you are. Then petty or harsh  treatment will be a minor obstacle in your life. 

~Write a "sincere" letter to the person that offended you. Tell them they are forgiven, that you will not hold a grudge. Then tear the letter up and enjoy the release you feel from the situation.

 
~If you are a person of faith, there is no better time to seek spiritual help than when a relationship needs repair or release. 

~Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive takes time. But it's an awesome  sign of maturity.

 

***********************

"Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. "
~Anonymous~