Somehow we have come to the conclusion that there should be a way to solve every longing or unfulfilled desire in our life. We are encouraged to identify our longings and go after them. We are not to stop until we have attained our goal. Unfortunately the goal line keeps moving. Have you noticed that?
I picked up a magazine today in my dentist's office and once again, the promises to make me better, smaller, wiser, prettier jumped off the page at me. On the pages of that magazine were ways to fill any woman's longings:
25 secrets to looking young
Look radiant without regret (whatever that means!)
Five Yoga must-haves
Three must-haves for a more youthful complexion (must-have, a popular phrase!)
Age proof your skin
Somehow I get the feeling we are not supposed to be happy with who we are. If we take all the ads we see, read and hear seriously, we are in for a a lot of headaches, and whether we like the word or not, we are in bondage, bondage to anxiety, resentment and depression. One of my favorites books, (I know, you hear that phrase often) is Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She says, "Unfulfilled longings have led countless women to trade in their virginity for a warm body and the promise of companionship. It has led married women to seek fulfillment in the arms of a man at work who claimed to care about her feelings. Unfulfilled longings have led many young people down the aisle of a church to exchange wedding vows for all the wrong reasons."
Ms. DeMoss goes on to say it is important to understand that our inner longings are not necessarily bad. But it is bad to meet these longings in an illegitimate way or to feel we are totally inadequate. Comparison, envy and competitiveness can make a woman miserable. We have to go back to some of the things we have discussed before. We have talked about our belief system. Remember, what we believe determines how we live.
Unfortunately our world is hung up on physical attraction. Though we should strive at all ages of our life to look our very best, working to stay healthy, fit and attractive, there is more to us than that. There are men that are truly captivated by the woman in their life and physical beauty is not her main asset. Before you write this thought off completely, consider Hollywood couples that are physically stunning, and unhappy! Attractiveness can not hold a man or woman in a relationship if that is all is there. Men love a woman with a sparkle in her eyes, a smile on her face, and enthusiasm. One of the main characteristics that a man loves is childlikeness In the words of Helen Andelin in Fascinating Womanhood:
"When a little girl is offended, she doesn't respond with an ugly, cutting remarks, nor does she conceal her feelings. Her emotions surface quickly and dramatically. She is honest and outspoken. But afterwards she doesn't hold a grudge."
This temporary pouty mood is total contrast to a man's masculine strength and he loves it. Another characteristic of a child is joy, happy laughter, hugging or delightful moments. This same child shows total trust in her provider. No trying to "fix" every problem that arises. She trusts the person in charge. (Why do we think we have to be in charge?!)
Do you see any attributes here you need to work on? Let's be happy with who we are. Let's do our best to be all we can be. Think about the things mentioned here. Be yourself with all your might. Work at having an attitude change. It affects not only your man, but all those around you. Let's be thankful for what we do have. Let's count our blessings, not our woes, that sometimes are imaginary, anyway.
