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On Parenting
Sleeping In Hard Beds
We Moms and Dads do everything we can to shield our little ones from the harshness of life. We fight their battles, we plead their causes. We make life as comfortable as possible for them.
As the child grows, we continue our "protection" with good intentions of helping this little human grow into all he is to be. If we're not cautious, we will take away the responsibility he needs to learn to cope with life's challenges.
Have you ever struggled with your child about home work, reminding him constantly of what the consequences will be if he does not complete his assignement? He finally squeaks by, but with little personal accomplishment and with a false impression of how things are truly accomplished. This leaves a child totally dependent on the constant prodding to get a job done.
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This subject is best explained by Meg. F. Schneider in her book; 25 Of The Best Parenting Techniques Ever. Read an excerpt from her book below:
"Your child has to learn to stand on his own. He also needs to separate from you. And you from him. It is extremely painful for parents to watch their children make mistakes that will cause them embarrassment or unhappiness. But by allowing them to stumble you are not only teaching them about real life, you are making a statement about your connections with them."
Mrs. Schneider goes on to say, "You love your child, you want to help him, but in the end you are separate people. If he makes a mistake, it is his. You will not be sucked into it, or take responsibility for it. When you can calmly look at what's happened and say, 'Well, I guess next time you will have to prepare a little differently for a test,' without fury or any other intense emotion, you are telling your child, 'Hey, this is your life.' "
She continues, ,"Ironically, in the end you will have helped him manage it better than had you kept at him relentlessly until out of sheer exhaustion he succumbed to your entreaties. And in so doing you will improve the dynamics of your relationship with him."
You may have totally different thoughts on this subject. But keep in mind, our role is to bring our children to maturity and to a place of responsibility. We are to guide, admonish, but not cover up when bad judgement is in play. If we take short cuts and help make excuses for our children, problems will surely arise in their adult years.
As parents, our goal is to raise our children to have good self esteem, to know who they are and to know their capabilities are limitless. Too, they must realize their resting place is in the bed they make for themselves.
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"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow,
yet we forget that he is someone today."
~Stacia Tauscher ~
 
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