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FOR THE MEN~BLUE PRINTS
DADS~MISSING IN ACTION
Recently I have heard stories of so many children who are totally alienated from their dads. The impact of fatherless homes in our country is taking a great toll on our children. Not only are they missing out on the "togetherness" of father-child relationships in their life, but the impact can be even greater in adulthood life, affecting future relationships. I will never believe that the male role can be ignored in a family.
Society would have you believe that the mother role is the most important. Men are down played in the role of family. I cringe every time I see a man being ridiculed or belittled by a wife or girlfriend on television ads or even in programming. How far we have come from the good atmosphere it takes to grow the next generation. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org.), over 25 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 children in America.
While researching information on this subject, I came across a wonderful article by Mark Earley. He is the president of Prison Fellowship and does commentaries for *Break Point located in Reston, VA. I requested permission and received it, to print the article below. Dads, it will be worth your time to read it. There is no greater investment than taking time to let your children know you care.
This particular article pertains to father/daughter relationships. Look around at the wayward daughters or young women in bad relationships or the ever increasing bad choices in life styles and you will agree with Mr. Earley.
Why Dads Matter to Daughters
Author: Mark Earley
I've previously discussed the sexual and spiritual wasteland where so many of our kids have ended up. And they don't even know how they got there or how to get out. Today I want to talk about how parents—and especially dads—can combat that culture. The truth is, contrary to what the media tells you, dads do matter.
As Dr. Meg Meeker puts it in her book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, "Most of you out there are good men . . but you are good men who have been derided by a culture that does not care for you, that . . . has ridiculed your authority, denied your importance, and tried to fill you with confusion about your role. But I can tell you that fathers change lives, as my father changed mine."
Well, Meeker is right.
Obviously dads are crucial to both their sons and their daughters, but Meeker focuses on daughters here. In her medical practice, Meeker has seen a lot of girls stranded in the sexual wasteland. She states that she has treated far too many of these young girls for sexually transmitted diseases, depression, eating disorders, and underage pregnancy.
And time and again, this doctor has found that the girls involved in damaging behaviors are the girls who don't feel loved and valued by their fathers.
Fathers can ensure that their daughters grow up with healthy ideas about sexuality, Meeker writes. "If you as a father saw what I see every week in my medical practice, you would know what to do and you would succeed."
You don't have to be an expert on STDs, or anything else, to guide your daughter away from this wasteland. You
just have to do your job as a dad. Talk to her, even when she doesn't seem to be listening. Teach her about the God who loves her and made her. Set boundaries for her. Spend time with her. Listen to her. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to us, but you wouldn't believe the difference it makes to them.
One 16-year-old girl told Meeker that, when on the verge of sleeping with her boyfriend, she saw a ring on her hand that her father had given her, and that alone caused her to stop.
And a father's influence has that kind of power, not just when it comes to sexual values, but in all areas of life. One young woman in the book started taking drugs and ran away at 16. It was only her father's patient, persistent reaching out to her that finally brought her back home and turned her life around.
Hang in there and keep doing your job, Meeker urges fathers, even when your lot seems thankless. And in this culture, where dads are ignored, mocked, and even told they're not needed, a dad's role is bound to seem thankless sometimes.
But for our families' sakes, we can't let that deter us. Plug your ears against the culture and remember this: You matter.
Your children may not tell you that now, but their lives will always be a reflection of your love and commitment. You can take that to the bank.
*BreakPoint is a daily commentary on news and trends from a Christian perspective. Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide, BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet. BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum, a division of Prison Fellowship: 1856 Old Reston Avenue, Reston, VA 20190.
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"I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example."
~Mario Cuomo~
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