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| Communication: It’s An Art |
Webster’s definition of communication: To give or exchange information; to have a meaningful relationship; to be connected.
What do you think the biggest problem in marriage might be? Money? Children? Sexual problems? In-laws? Not so say those who have studied this subject. Communication or lack of it is the number one marital problem. I’m not speaking of agreeing on the same restaurant for dinner, discipline of the children or what kind of car to purchase. It goes much deeper.
One of my favorite things my husband says to me is, “I love the way I can talk to you about anything and you always listen.” Lest you feel I am being boastful, let me assure you it took me years to realize how important listening is. When I came upon this jewel of knowledge, I immediately determined, “Hey, this is something I can do! I can listen, really listen with my heart!” This does not happen overnight. It takes getting our priorities straight. For me, it took loosing my husband suddenly to death to realize it’s a good thing to give time to the one you love, even if you don’t think you have it to give. Think about these things:
- When he’s away, greet him with a smile when he comes home. Have good things to tell him, not bad. Save the bad for other times. Make “homecoming” a happy time. That’s communication.
- Ask him from time to time what’s on his mind. Let him know what concerns him concerns you. That’s communication.
- Find out all you can about his work, even if you’re not interested. Care about his struggles, whether it’s personality conflicts on the job, too many hours required of him or a lack of appreciation by his peers. That’s communication.
- Ask for his input on household problems. Let him know his ideas and thoughts are important. That’s communication.
- Tell him he’s the best husband and father in the world. (If he’s not, remember a person becomes what they believe. Just maybe he needs someone to believe in him so he can believe in himself.) That’s communication)
- Cherish him! Do you know that the world is full of husbands that don’t feel cherished? It’s a likely fact that there is someone out there who is willing to tell your husband how wonderful he is! That bit of information should come from you. If this comes hard for you to do, check out your forgiveness level.Do you need to forgive him for whatever? Check out your “grudge” closet. Check to see if your resentment for “things” not discussed (because of lack of communication) is overflowing Do your part to fix it.. That’s communication.
- Make him #1. The man in your life is not dumb! I believe I have alluded to this before in one of my writings. He knows where he is on your list of priorities. Move him up a notch or two or three! He deserves it! If you don’t think he does, help him believe in himself. He will become what he truly, truly believes he is. That’s communication.
Who benefits from this? If you think it is your husband with all the attention and loving, you have a big surprise on the way. When he feels he has someone that cares, someone that he can REALLY talk to, that knows his deepest thoughts, watch your love saturation change! This is not an easy life style, because you have to think of someone else over yourself. And it true that we all have a lot of excess baggage, maybe from our growing up years or just years of accumulated “stuff” from our marriage. But it is worth it to make a marriage work.
What does a woman want? To be loved and cherished. You will be just that when you give your man a place of importance in your life. That’s called communication.
“I was operating under the delusion that I needed a new husband.
Then one day it occurred to me that perhaps my husband needed a new wife.”
Unknown
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Women Health Directory
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