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On Marriage
A Holiday Peacemaker
Holiday gatherings are not pleasant for everyone. For
some families there have been harsh words, bad memories of times long past
and getting together is the last thing on their minds.
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This is an excellent time for you to put your womanly skills to work and see what
can be done to help out a bad situation. Keep in mind that sometimes, the offense was
so long ago that no one remembers what happened. If you can make it work,
where will most of your admiration come from? Your husband, I would
imagine, especially if the problem on his side of the family.
The role of peacemaker is a good thing. Whether the conflict is between friends,
family or parent and child, it makes no difference. It all needs resolving.
Conflict not only hinders relationships. There’s always the toll to pay
health wise. In doing some research on forgiveness, I came across an
article I clipped a few years back from Prevention Magazine, a Jan., 1999
issue to be exact. Ellen Michaud wrote about the power of forgiveness as a
hot ,new, medically proven lifesaver.. She wrote that hanging on to anger
and resentment increases your chance of a heart attack fivefold and also
increases your risk of cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and
other illnesses. Since that time, evidence continues to mount on the side
of forgiveness as a strong way to overcome physical and emotional ailments.
If you have a situation that needs resolving, it will take time. As you
talk to family members, help them to feel they can trust you. They have to
believe your intentions are sincere. Being non-judgmental is a key
component in being a peacemaker. With a lot of work you may be able to
bring the family together again. It’s important to take things slow. Be
compassionate with those hurting family members. I once read, “Hurting
people hurt people.” Those who are hurting people are hurting themselves.
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We forget, sometimes, that woman have mighty powers. We were created with a
“softness” that we fail to use to our advantage. Softness is missing
in many marriages. Why be tough? Who wants that? If you just think about
it, we don’t have to prove our capabilities in keeping up with a man’s
world. If we used our femininity more often, there just may be no limit to
all the good we could bring to our husband, his battles, battles with in-laws, etc.
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Use your created talents this holiday season to make everything good for the family, including disgruntled family members. Show them love, show them you care. It may have been a while since they felt that anyone ever noticed them. Don’t say you don’t have talents to use for the holiday! Anyone can be kind. The problem is, many people have not made that choice. Set the atmosphere in your marriage and in your home for the holidays. There’s more to Christmas than gifts and good food. Give of yourself emotionally by being a peacemaker. The benefits can life changing.
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 “Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but eternal joys as well. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations."
Spencer W. Kimball
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