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On Marriage
Again...... Role Modeing
As I reiterate points or information from time to time, keep in mind the fact that we learn by repetition. I ask again the question, Do you really, really know your power as a woman?
Don't be afraid of it, just take it seriously! It's a time to live with urgency, seize your divine moment! You are a role model! Let's look at some of the areas that matter. It helps to know what to look for.
~Disagreeing in an agreeable way: It is human not to agree on everything in a relationship. It's o.k. It's the way that we handle disputes that matters. Always be aware that little ears are listening. What a pitiful sight if arguments revert to name calling and degrading remarks in marriage. Although there's no reason for a child to believe that life is perfect, it's best to settle disputes out of range of a child's ears, For them to see the real side of life with disagreements, as well as good times can help them realize life means learning to get along with others.
~ Saying I'm sorry: It is so important to know how to say these words. No one is right all the time. Saying "I'm sorry" when you're wrong is a big deal in the eyes and ears of a growing child. If there has been unjust anger toward a child because of stress, etc. that's a perfect time to use these words. They see that it is o.k. to be wrong sometimes, as long as you 'fess up! It keeps communications open and helps the child to believe mom is human and think thoughts like, "I like her!" As for hubby, there is probably no one in your life who needs to hear those words more than he does. Though he may be hard to live with at times, the words, "I'm sorry you had a bad day." just may initiate conversation that may not have occurred otherwise. He may just decide to bear his heart.
~Compliments: Give them! Never hold them back when you feel them. (But never say them when you don't mean them.) Kids and husbands need to hear good things at home. There's not many people outside the home that are willing to build someone else up, unless you are fortunate to have outstanding teachers in your children's lives and supporting people around your husband.  Encourage, encourage, encourage by telling your family how proud you are of them. Be more subtle in the areas that need work with both husband and child.
~Showing emotions: We women are quite emotional, are we not! That's just the way we were made. So show emotions. Laugh a lot! Don't stifle it. (Children will remember that part of you when they are grown and away from home.) In our stressful days, it's hard to find something to laugh about, but it's then that we have to make our own sunshine. Knowing that we have little ones observing our view of life can be the point that pushes us over the top in looking for things to be happy about. We are telling them life is good or life is one struggle after another. On the other side, it's o.k. to let tears show. That's life and it's good to let our family see us working "it" out. When they see the sun still shines the next morning, that's an "overcoming" event. Dealing with emotions as they occur is much better than letting them build up and become overwhelming.
~Compassion: To "mother" and "wife" with a compassionate hand makes a jewel of a wife and mother. Empathy is the word. Put yourself in the place of that husband that was put down by his boss, or lost the sell or didn't get the job! Are your words to him consoling and building up or do you glare, "Why did you let that happen?" As a mother, compassion will build a relationship with your child that will never be forgotten. You don't have to say, "I know how you feel." More than likely you don't. But you can let them talk, tell them you know "it" hurts and that tomorrow will be a better day. Both husbands and children need a shoulder to lean on when life beats them down. Husbands will know their wife is a safe place to go when facing life struggles. Children will know no one can "fix" it like Mom.
With effort, there are things you can change for the better that will make a happier husband and healthier, more stable children that will grow into confident adults. Good luck!
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