Webster’s definition of admire: to regard with wonder and delighted approval; to have a high opinion of; to be pleased.
Until I started an in-depth study on marriage, I was blind to the needs of the male species. I spent so many years not knowing what made them tick. What a shame there are no college classes on the subject. However, in our day and time would it be a popular subject? Would it survive?
A woman’s deep desire is to be loved. We need to feel cherished and adored. We were made with that need. On the other hand, our husband’s need is admiration of his skills, achievements, dreams and his looks. This is something he can’t get for himself. It has to be given to him. He likes it from any source, but from the woman he loves brings him the most pleasure. At times it is not easy to overlook disappointments and failures in the man we love. But the woman that can do this wins her husband’s deepest and most tender love.
There was a definite plan in mind when our creator planned the scheme of things. The woman needs to fill cherished. Man needs admiration. The woman decides to put her husband first and give him what he needs and you guessed it! That is one cherished lady when she start to admire her man. No, indeed, this does not
(The perfect Christmas tree seeker)
happen overnight. A one time compliment does nothing for a man that has been ridiculed for years. This man feels like a failure and it is a long way up from the bottom, where he feels he is not worth anything to anyone. |
It may be hard at first to feel appreciative toward a husband that is messy, a constant television watcher, a late come-homer, etc. That’s when your brain gets a workout. Think! Has he stayed with a job that has been intolerable to him at times? Has he waded through PMS with you for years? Has he stretched the family budget to the limits for a vacation you wanted to take? Has he “endured” in-laws without a word? Does he spend time with the kids? (If not, think of a kind way to tell him how much the kids need his role model traits. Help him to see he has qualities the children need.)
There is some area of our husband’s life we can admire if we forget our self and try to please our mate. We win in the process. We may have to start small. But ladies, it is a starting place. There is a reason you said “yes” to this man. Remember and start to rekindle that first love.
Some woman misconstrue this teaching to mean you have to butter up to get what you want, telling your husband what a hunk he is, etc., in other to obtain a goal. We have to give the man credit for being smart! I am talking about a lifestyle of loving and appreciating our husband.
Men seek “love” elsewhere many times because they have found someone to tell them how wonderful they are. Wives go outside the marriage for fulfillment because they don’t feel cherished. See what a vicious circle this can become, when it is within the power of each individual to meet the other’s need.
This decision to fulfill our mate’s needs is not a superficial love. It is a giving love that puts the other individual first. In all honesty, I believe it is not a natural response. Since the beginning of time, “me, me, me” has been the human battle cry. But this kind of response is possible. For me it has come through faith in the one that leads by example.
(See The Sanctuary)
Each woman has to chart her own course. I set my sails a few years back and I will never turn back. While life itself sees to it that problems of various kind creep into marriages, husbands and wives are better equipped to tackle them if the husband feels he is admired (giving him confidence that he makes good decisions) and the wife feels cherished (knowing she has a safe dwelling place). I am glad I love admiring my husband and telling him so. In return, our love grows deeper each day.
